Moochie The Slacker Sloth
Ambition. Dreams. Passion. Desire to wear pants.
Moochie The Slacker Sloth lacks all of these qualities, and is totally mellow with it. In fact, he prefers his carefree days … and nights … on the couch.
But …
Moochie’s story didn’t start out this way.
Once upon time, Moochie was a bright-eyed optimist, with hopes and dreams of success and world domination. The car. The house. The job. He could have had it all …
Then, adulthood happened.
After a couple years of carpool lanes, interoffice memos, and college loans, he realized that being a grownup blows. So, he devised a plan …
To do absolutely zilch. There’s nothing that makes him happier than lounging on the couch all day, watching the clock tick by while everyone else suffers the daily grind. Life in the slow lane is Moochie’s greatest success, and he relishes every last moment of an existence with zero expectations.
Now, Moochie is the unsung hero of every adult who’s had enough of the rat race, but lacks the level of commitment it takes to truly let life roll by.
Specs, Features, and Bragging Rights
- Loves life in the slow lane
- Sits 11 inches high, because standing is for overachieving chumps
- Heavy-lidded, blank stare accentuates his devotion to pure chill
- Customizable gift tag allows you to bestow your Moochie with his own given and sloth names
- Whacked out hair that hasn’t seen a comb in months
- Pale, lifeless complexion from not seeing the sun since he discovered streaming TV
- The same white tank top he’s been wearing since last Wednesday … maybe … hmm … whatever
- Detachable plush beer bottle and cig, perfect for never having to waste energy making trips to the fridge
- Complete and utter, guilt-free lack of responsibility
- Most satisfied slacker on Earth
Living the Dream for You
Moochie the Slacker Sloth is a soft, cuddly, plush sloth who embodies the guilt-free, sedentary lifestyle we all secretly dream of at some point in our life … or day. He’s happiest on the couch, but you can take him anywhere you need someone to do some hardcore chilling for you. He won’t mind, because as long as he has his plush beer and smoke in hand, he’s more than happy to roll with anything, totally stress-free.
